Objectivism Shrugged

"Did you really think we want those laws observed?" said Dr. Ferris. "We want them to be broken. You'd better get it straight that it's not a bunch of boy scouts you're up against... We're after power and we mean it... There's no way to rule innocent men. The only power any government has is the power to crack down on criminals. Well, when there aren't enough criminals one makes them. One declares so many things to be a crime that it becomes impossible for men to live without breaking laws. Who wants a nation of law-abiding citizens? What's there in that for anyone? But just pass the kind of laws that can neither be observed nor enforced or objectively interpreted - and you create a nation of law-breakers - and then you cash in on guilt. Now that's the system, Mr. Reardon, that's the game, and once you understand it, you'll be much easier to deal with." ('Atlas Shrugged' 1957)

"Civilization is the progress toward a society of privacy. The savage's whole existence is public, ruled by the laws of his tribe. Civilization is the process of setting man free from men." ('The Fountainhead' 1943)

Army Training, Sir!

The Jones crew arrived in Wilson on Wednesday, and we all drove down to Fort Jackson, South Carolina. Seems Wiggy's nephew was graduating from US Army basic training on Friday. We left on Wednesday night from Wilson and made it as far as Bishopville, SC before we collapsed in a heap at the local Economy Inn. Nice folks, they gave us a good rate and some 10% off coupons at the Waffle House next door, which we took advantage of. Then we drove the rest of the way into Columbia, SC and got on base for Visitor's Day.

Here's old Wiggy and The Kid hanging out with the family:



We were able to spend some time with newly-minted Private Glucose T. Coffeemaker and we wandered around the base with him. He showed us various places where he had trained and so on. I must say, some things have changed since ol' Wigwam's time in the service, back in the early 1980's. Female recruits in the same platoon as males. All uniforms were sent out for laundry service. Recruits are given Article 15 punishments like parking tickets (when I was in, an Article 15 was a career-ender).

Here's a photo of Pvt. Coffeemaker's younger brother with the Pvt. Glucose had done his brother up with cammo stick for fun:



The next day, we gathered for graduation ceremonies, which were very well done. A four-star general, one General Burns, was in attendance, and he spoke well. There was a 'Pass in Review' and then it was over, more or less. We were given 15 minutes with our new soldier, then he had to get on a bus and be taken to Advanced Infantry Training, which in his case will also be on Fort Jackson.

Here's our boy:



So we drove back to Wilson yesterday, and we again all collapsed in a heap. At the moment, we've got our coffee, Mrs. Wiggy has gone to get the bisquits, and at some point this afternoon, we'll all pile in the Chevy for a drive into Raleigh to put the relatives on a plane back to Minot, North Dakota. Pretty cold up there this time of year - but we got sunburned in South Carolina.

Semper Fidelis,

Wigwam Jones

Self-Portrait

Well, I'm back from my trip. Strange doings in the land of the really big heads.

Here's a photograph of me with the most important people in Washington:



So remain calm, all is well, I have returned to the land of grits and gravy. Click on the link if you want to be frightened.

Pax,

Wiggy

Scented Bowling Balls & Caterpillar Tractors

Weird day.

On the way past the smoker's area outside my employer's office today, I overheard a snippet of conversation.  Something about 'scented bowling balls'.  Um, yeah.  I figured I had just heard something wrong - I do that sometimes.  But no:

**************

http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2005/03/11/957642-ap.html

Scented bowling balls
By CARRIE ANTLFINGER
 
MILWAUKEE (AP) - Odours associated with bowling traditionally include smelly feet, cigarette smoke and beer. But what about grape, amaretto and cherry?

One bowling ball manufacturer - Storm Products Inc. - is putting fruit and other popular scents into its mid-to high-end bowling balls, resulting in a steady increase in sales. More than half the bowlers on the Professional Bowlers Association tour last year used them, including four-time PBA champion Ryan Shafer.

**************

And then this:

**************

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/aplocal_story.asp?category=6420&slug=WA%20Protester%20Killed%20Lawsuit&dpfrom=th

Wednesday, March 16, 2005 * Last updated 3:58 a.m. PT

Family of protester killed by bulldozer suing Caterpillar

By ELIZABETH M. GILLESPIE
ASSOCIATED PRESS WRITER

SEATTLE -- The parents of a 23-year-old activist killed while trying to prevent the demolition of a Palestinian home have sued Caterpillar Inc., the company that made the bulldozer that ran over her.

The lawsuit, filed Tuesday in U.S. District Court here, alleges that Caterpillar violated international and state law by providing specially designed bulldozers to Israeli Defense Forces, knowing the machines would be used to demolish homes and endanger people.

Rachel Corrie, a student at The Evergreen State College in Olympia, Wash., was standing in front of a home in a refugee camp in Rafah, a Gaza Strip city near the Egyptian border, on March 16, 2003, when a bulldozer plowed over her.

**************

OK, look.  I remember the news story, and I was sorry that the girl died.  I think that Israel is more responsible for this than their investigation concluded.  But Caterpillar Tractor Company?  Oh, come on!

I have to get on the road this morning - driving to the Washington DC area in the rain and snow.  Lovely.  Be a couple days before I'm back, so be good.

Happy, Happy,

Wiggy

Vim and Vigor

So I was using the latest version of 'vim', which is a source-code editor that is an improvement on the old Unix-flavor 'vi' editor (boring geeky stuff). And that got me thinking about the phrase 'Vim and Vigor'. This was used to describe someone who was way too full of energy, bouncing about, and generally acting like an acrobat on meth. They were chock full of 'vim' and 'vigor'.

So I looked it up at www.dictionary.com. Know what? Vim and vigor mean the same thing. Hello? Department of Redundancy Department?

All these years - we've been lied to again.

We won't be fooled again! No, no, no!

Aw, who am I kidding?

And what kind of fool wastes an hour on thinking about things like this, let alone writing about it?

Makes you think.

Best,

Wiggy

Thoughts for Today

Okay, in no particular order - what we learned today, my little malchicks:

1) When the dogs learn a new trick - that is, they step on the food bowl and scatter IAMS around the room in a perfect trajectory like a kibble minefield, it is not appropriate to laugh and say "Looks like YOU got a job to do" to Mrs. Wiggy.

2) Wooden kitchen spoons upside the brainbox hurt!

3) Mrs. Wiggy has a mean right. Like a folding chair alongside the head at a WWF wrasslin' match, it was. Stars. I swear I saw stars. And my Aunt Nana, telling me to wash up and come in for supper. Which is weird, since I never had and Aunt Nana.

4) Kibble hurts when you fall on it after being clouted with said wooden kitchen spoon. I don't know how dogs eat that stuff.

5) The dogs find this amusing, for reasons known only to dogs, and proceed to step all over you in their haste to express their laughter. And dogs don't know (or perhaps don't care) about stepping on a man's snarglies.

6) I believe we are going to rejoin Moose International. I was a member back in the late 1980's in Papillion, Nebraska. For a year or so. But it just sound like fun. I hope I get to wear a funny hat and make moose sounds. What the hell, I'm old now - I should be able to wear a ridiculous hat and drink in a club with only men in it. Oh wait - I could go to NYC and find that. Well.

7) A couple of our best friends, Milcom Miasma and Beuma-Jean Skleevage, have adopted a pair of cats from the local shelter. Toby and Oscar. Both are male, they got debagged and radished prior to being allowed to come home with our friends. Milcom allowed as to how they were both walking like cowboys. Yeah, with spurs that used to jingle, jangle, jingle. Now they got no spurs, if you catch my drift.

8) Gotta drive to Reston, Virginia on Wednesday. Not my idea of fun, but what the heck.

And that's it from Chez Wiggy. Keep yer stick on the ice.

Smooches,

Wiggy

PS - I got a classic old Brownie camera recently. For reasons known only to my witch-doctor, I insist on taking pictures with it. Here's one of the dogs in the backyard. Scary, huh?



Oh yes. And this. There is a former Paul Bunyan statue in town. It used to be Paul Bunyan. Now it just stands around and gives a Nazi salute where his axe used to be. Really. But it is his creepy eyes that get me. Scary monsters:

'Tis the Season...well, not yet, anyway.

But I think you should be prepared.  So here it is:

http://www.meish.org/tis/cards/

And don't forget the ever-favorite:

http://www.despair.com/

Smooches,

Wiggy

Poncho? Just say no.

Stewart smiles as she holds up the much publicized poncho she wore when she left prison during a speech to an audience of her employees and the media on her first day back at work since leaving prison.

I don't usually comment on fashion, especially since I'm such a high-fashion plate myself. Jeans and a t-shirt are my preferred wear.

But a few months ago, I saw women wearing ponchos here and there - a light smattering. I asked Mrs. Wiggy if ponchos were 'back' and she said yes.

Well.

Wiggy was a child of the late '60s and early '70s. Ponchos were ugly then, they're ugly now. It is like discovering the worst of every fashion trend that ever existed and wearing just that.

Don't bring back the poncho. Let it remain in the domain of vendors from Tiajuana, along with velvet Elvis paintings, dogs playing poker, and 3D Jesus portraits with eyes that follow you around the room.

Get it together, people. Get over this poncho thing. I don't want to have to say this again.

The next poncho I want to see will be worn by Clint Eastwood when I replay my Spaghetti Western movies.

Via Con Queso,

Wiggy

Kill Da Wabbit

Good morning, my little droogies. Not sure what to make of this, but I present it as a token of the ever-changing Theatre of Life and all that that implies:

East Valley Tribune (Arizona)

Hare-raising plot on Web
By Katie McDevitt, For the Tribune
Animal rights advocates want a Scottsdale-based company to shut down a Web site that threatens to kill a bunny if it doesn’t receive $50,000 from the public.

The story goes on to describe the anonymous fellow who has a website featering Toby, a pet rabbit that he intends to kill, cook, and eat, if people do not give him $50,000. If it's a spoof, it's a pretty good one. If the guy's just a sicky, he's a pretty sick one. But who knows?

Save Toby

One thing for sure, I'm not giving this clown any money. I have seen too many "Simpsons" episodes - I expect the website to shortly turn into a grand-opening publicity stunt for a shopping mall.

It also reminds me of the old "Buy this magazine or we'll kill this dog" National Lampoon magazine cover from the early 1970's.



In any case, we're all going straight to hell. If I were an alien overlord, orbiting high over the earth right now in an intergalactic battle cruiser with the power to devastate worlds, I'd fry us without a second thought. And we'd have it coming, too.

All I can hear is Bugs Bunny singing "Kill da wabbit, kill da wabbit, kill da wabbit.." over and over again, as I slip slowly into my working day. I reach for a hammer and . . .

Smooches,

Wiggy

Sweet Bird of Reason - The The

Hey kids! Got this stuck in my punkin haid today...

This is your captain calling
With an urgent warning
We're above the Gulf of Arabia
Our altitude is falling
And I can't hold her up
There's no time for thinking
All hands on deck
This bird is sinking

Copyright 2004 Lazarus Limited

Kelly's Heroes

Oddball: "Arf, arf, arf... That's my other dog impression."

The "David Blog"

Well, it appears as if SunGrooveTheory and I might have coined a new term in the realm of bloggerdom. You see, when you're out blog-hopping (and folks, ALWAYS use protection, ok?), eventually you come across the dark blog. Yes, this blog is all done up in black and the blogger in question is generally criminally young and annoyingly vulnerable, and they are Afflicted With David. Yes, their lives are tragic - and I'm sure for many reasons - but almost invariably, it all comes back to David.

David is the catch-all name of the boy (or girl) who should be noticing said blogger and blogger's Pure, Pure, Love for them. But David, sadly, is not noticing blogger's unrequited love, and just generally does not Do the Right Things. He does not notice the poems she writes and slips into his locker at school. He does not notice her draping herself strategically across a desk nearby his in class. He does not notice (or he does notice and does not care) that she is sighing most piteously and sadly in the absence of his love.

Or, she is involved with David. But he's a jerk (all Davids are jerks, presumably), and he alternately ignores / dumps / or blows off dates with her. She is mad, he makes a lame excuse. She forgives, and blames herself with much wailing and gnashing of teeth, then he falls from grace once more. And so on.

It is to groan.

One would wish, just for one second, that one could pour a 30-year-old brain into the skull of young blogger. Just long enough so that she could smell the coffee and kick this jerk to the curb and get on with her life. There would be a lot fewer jerk guys if girls who dress in black would grab their snarglies and give 'em a twist, instead of sighing online and writing too much bad poetry.

Anyway, I haven't had my first coffee yet, so that's the best I can do at the moment.

Over and Out,

Wiggy

Larium - The Stuff of Dreams

I took Larium when I went to Manaus, Brazil two years ago. The problem was not that it made me psychotic. The problem was that it didn't make me psychotic enough. I went to see my doctor and he was eating the live entrails of a badger when I arrived in my pumpkin drawn by six white horses. I told him that the hallucinations were only mild - I wanted the real deal or nothing. He said that we seldom see the man behind the curtain, and then he vanished in a puff of orange juice, which is supposed to be good for you. I'm not trying it, you try it. I know, let's get Mikey! Well, let me tell you, Larium made me the man I am today. A real Lizard King, let me say that. Not the cold-blooded part, but the big and scaly part. Or something like that. When Anita Bryant arrived, dancing the gavotte with Patty Duke and Trish Nixon, I knew it was time to fold my tent and move on.

Six Degrees of Blogeration

I thought I was being all clever and stuff. I looked up a random blog on Google. Then I went there, read some of their stuff, and posted some cogent (or not so cogent) comment. I then looked at the OTHER comments and went to those people's blogs, too. I've been doing this everyday during lunch, which I eat at my desk (bologna sandwich, yum). Which reminds me 'Beef Bologna' by FEAR is a pretty good song. And "The Pressure of Life (Takes Weight Off the Body)" by Fun Boy Three - but now I'm getting off on a tangent.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes. I thought that if I did this long enough, I'd eventually come across someone I know. Or someone I know who knows, etc. You know, the whole 'six degrees' urban myth. I thought I'd be clever if I called it "The Six Degrees of Blogeration." Only I find via Google that it's been thought of. Kinda like domain names - ever buddy done got theirs already. There's nothing left, unless they start allowing Klingon letters 'n stuff in the URL.

So, so, so. What I found is that a) Don't know any buddy and b) Some real tripe out there - but more than tripe, more often I find people with interesting points of view and something interesting to say about them. Very cool. The world may be a trifle less sucky than I thought.

But I swear, if I have to read ONE MORE "The world sucks and I wear black and there is no point in going to school anymore and why doesn't David return my calls" I am going to take a flame thrower to a random duck. And I mean it. Sort of. No idea what that means, actually. Random duck? What the hell is that? And where would I get a flame thrower? I mean, come on.

Anyway, that's it. Have fun.

Watch Kelly's Heroes if you have four hours to kill and you want to see a really great flick.

Namaste,

Wiggy

And Then Everything Went Pear-Shaped...

That tears it - I have officially lost my mind. Any buddy sees it, there could be a reward for you if it is returned intact.

Saddam Hussein: Honorary citizen of Detroit, Michigan


Saddam is third from the left

Posted: 03/26/2003 04:09 pm
Years before Saddam Hussein became an enemy to the United States, he was reportedly seen as a friend and made an honorary Detroit citizen.

In 1980 when Saddam Hussein was on good terms with America, he was quite the giver. Hussein donated money to help several churches in the motor city, Detroit.

There are pictures of a meeting between a Detroit priest and Saddam Hussein when he accepted the donation.

Father Jacob Yasso of the Sacred Heart Chaldean Church says, "He said, 'We hear you have a debt on your church'. I said, 'Yes Mr. President'. He said, 'How much?'. I said '$170,000'. He said, 'I'll pay it off for you'."

Father Yasso returned the favor at that same meeting 23 years ago. He gave Hussein a key to the city of Detroit making him an honorary citizen.

Well. Now I just don't know what to say. I knew that we used to cuddle up to Saddam when he was fighting with Iran, but I had no idea he was a frickin' citizen of Detroit! This changes ever thang! Some buddy call Ted Nugent, and I mean now! We have to nip this thing in the bud. Rassin, frassin, gribble, grabble, ting, ting, bonk.

Tilt

Game Over,

Wiggy

Online Comics

You know what I plumb forgot to mention?  SpaceMoose.  Yeah, it's defunct now, but it was great.

It used to be online at www.spacemoose.com, but now only a mirror can be found - http://www.drunkanddisorderly.net/spacemoose/archive.htm.  The early works were pretty crappy, but it got lots better.  And strange.  And about as offensive as a comic can get.

Another:  Bob, The Angry Flower: http://angryflower.com/  Not as funny as it once was - but I still tune in once in awhile, hoping it will get better again.

Sluggy Freelance used to make me happy: http://www.sluggy.com/.  Again, not as good as it once was, bummer.

My sister wants to know what's wrong with me.  Where do I begin?  I think it started when I was in High School and I found a pirate radio station on the AM band.  They didn't play Kansas and Boston and Foreigner and Journey and all that crap.  They played The Stranglers and Captain Sensible and the Pogues and The Specials.  It was cool, and my mind was warped.  I think forever.  Yeah, that must have been it.

All the Young Dudes, Have Mercy!

Wiggy

My Favorite Country Music Songwriter (and other stuff)

Hoyt Axton. The man. Did you know he wrote "Snowblind Friend" that Steppenwolf covered?

You say it was this mornin’ when you last saw your good friend
Lyin’ on the sidewalk with the misery on his brain
Stoned on some new potion he found upon the wall
Of some unholy bathroom in some ungodly hall

He only had a dollar to live on ‘till next Monday
But he spent it all on comfort for his mind
Did you say you think he’s blind?

Someone should call his parents or a sister or a brother
And they’ll come and take him back home on a bus
But he’ll always be a problem to his poor and puzzled mother
And he’ll always be another one of us

He said he wanted heaven but prayin’ was too slow
So he bought a one-way ticket on an airline made of snow
Did you say you saw your good friend flyin’ low

You say it was this mornin’ when you last saw your good friend
Lyin’ on the sidewalk with the misery on his brain
Stoned on some new potion he found upon the wall
Of some unholy bathroom in some ungodly hall

Did you say you saw your good friend flyin’ low
Dyin’ slow
Blinded by snow

I won't go on and on - but the man was good. Very good.

I heard an announcer on NPR the other day, trying to be cool, making a Monty Python reference. He made a reference to the 'Knights who say Neat'. Argh. Dude. I thought you wonky liberals were the cool ones - all us conservatives were so square. Man, I spent two whole summers going to Rocky Horror Picture Show ever single weekend at midnight in Denver. I was at the Ogden in 1977 and 1978 ever damned weekend, dressed like Eddy. I still know all the freakin' cues and and sing "Super Heroes" to myself in the car. When I'm not singing P.I.L.'s "Order of Death," that is.

My favorite movie is still probably "Bladerunner," although I am fond of "The League of Extrodinary Gentlemen" lately. And of course "Princess Bride" will always get a spot on my shelf. I dig anime - "Ghost in the Shell" and "Trigun" and "FLCL" and my wife has purchased all the "Cowboy Bebop" dvds for me. Nice woman, she must love me.

I want to re-read "Heart of Darkness" by Conrad, but I'm not sure I have the time these days. I suspect that there was something going on there that I missed.

I'm digging out my old Bukowski, probably due to Run with the Hunted - thanks a lot, pal.

Ever listen to "The The?" Check out "Arabia" sometime.

OK, that's it for now. Bonus points to the first person to find a reference to the Wilson Tobs online and tells us all what they are/is, etc.

Mucha Lucha,

Wiggy

Credit Card Crooks

First Premier Bank of Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Come on down! You're the newest contestant on "Credit Card Crooks," the exciting imaginary gameshow where we pull down the pants of a bad company and spank their bare butts for the world to see!

Your hero got a pre-approved credit card application today. I always read 'em before I toss them in the trash - you never know - you might find a lower rate than you're paying currently, and you can transfer for 0% for 90 days or so - great way to knock off a few bucks of interest for a few months - actually apply a monthly payment to principal instead of interest for a change.

So today I get the pitch from First Premier Bank. Well, right off the bat, this think has got 'schlock merchant' written over it. The come-on letter is done up to look like I won a prize or something - with 'emergency acceptance codes' and 'rush process now' junk on it - special codes and all written that bizarre font that IBM mainframes used to use. I suppose it is supposed to generate excitement, look like you won some kind of contest. Yeah - snork - you won a contest, all right. The "Look How Big An Idiot I Am" contest. Winners every day. And yeah, I've won a few times myself. I'm so proud.

But listen. Mrs. Wiggy and myself have worked hard to make sure our credit is in good shape - and it paid off bigtime recently when we bought our house - fixed VA 30 year loan, nothing down, 5.75% APR. I'd say we've got OK credit.

So here's the deal. When you get one of these pitches, you have GOT to read the fine print if you're going to even consider taking their card. So you flip the thing over, and there it is, in a big block. Well, it's not hard to find, folks. But that's because the law demands it - a law instituted after years of abuse by companies like this.

Annual Percentage Rate for Purchases: 9.9%. Hey, that's not so bad! I watch my APR rates carefully, that sounds good! Maybe I should pay attention here!

Other Annual Percentage Rates: 23.9% for Cash Advances, 23.9% for Penalty APR. OK, that does not sound so good. The maximum legal rate. Think about it, folks. If you maxed out a $4,000 card at that rate, you'd pay the minimum payment of about $200 per month for the rest of your life and NEVER pay the thing off. Would I give you three large if you then were going to pay me a couple hundred bucks a month for the rest of your life? Dang straight I would.

But hey, you can avoid paying the hot-knitting-needles-through-your-eyes rate by just doing a couple of things. First, avoid taking a cash advance on a credit card. That's a bad deal even on good credit cards, let alone belly-crawlers like these guys. The second thing is to always pay your bill on time - never even a day late. That invokes the higher interest rate on this particular card - be late twice in a six-month period. Well, this all sucks, but honestly, it's not that unusual. Heck, I've even gotten credit card offers recently that say my rate goes to the legal max if I am late paying any credit card payment - even their competitors! How would they find out? Because late payments are reported to the credit card bureaus, natch. Oh, what a crock! Be late with one credit card company, and all your rates go through the roof. Yeah, you'll be able to fix your credit problems that way. I guess they want to be sure that if you slip and fall, you die (financially). Injured and limping doesn't get it. The credit card hyenas want you healthy and paying on time or dead with your guts ripped out. Nothing in-between, thanks.

Well, let's get back our star weasels, First Premier. What makes them special is this; lots of extra fees. Fees for everything. Fees for breathing, fees for taking up space on the planet. Here are the fees I could find on my first pass through this mish-mash of reportage that they call an Initial Disclosure and Important Information (they oughta call it BOHICA, baby):

Fees for Issuance or Availability of Credit: (this is the fun part)

* Program Fee: $95.00 (one time fee)
* Account Setup Fee: $29.00 (one time fee)
* Annual Fee: $48.00 (obviously annually)
* Participation Fee: $72.00 (annually)
* Additional Card Fee: $20.00 per card

Oh, but wait, there's more!

Other Charges:

* Late Fee or Overlimit Fee: $25
* Credit Limit Increase Fee: $25 (every time they raise your limit)
* Copying Fee: $3 per item (I don't even know what this is)
* Internet Access Fee: $3.95 PER ACCESS
* Autodraft Fee: $11.00 per month
* If Autodraft is requested through their voicemail: $7.00 per transaction
* Express Delivery Fee: $25.00 if you need a replacement card (lost, stolen, etc)

So, after all this, here's what it breaks down to (and they cop to it in the fine print). You fall for this crapola. They give you an account based on your lousy credit score (I suspect that this solicitation normally is intended for the bad-credit crowd, of which I was one once). So, the minimum account is a $250 line of credit. If you need two cards, the amount of credit you have LEFT on your card BEFORE YOU EVEN GET IT is $52. Yeah, you just gave $198 to some crapass shitbag company for the privilege of holding a piece of plastic that says "VISA" on it. It's no wonder you have bad credit, you're stupid if you fall for this.

So, is First Premier Bank of Sioux Falls, South Dakota a bunch of crooks? Not for this, really. I'm sure it is all legal - they can do everything they're doing. But are they a bunch of snakes, preying on the segment of society that can least afford it? Yep. Shitbags, every person who works for that worthless chunk of excrement they call a company. My opinion, folks; read it and weep. If First Premier Bank is reading this - sue me. Unless you're too busy snorting drano and plooking each other.

Anyway, that's the end of this rant. I hate crapheads like this. I also have little sympathy for those who take credit cards because they're offered them, and don't bother to read the disclosures on the back. That's why these shit-stains have nice houses in the country, morons. Read the fine print. We can't put 'em jail if they tell you how big they're gonna make your butthole by the time they get through with you and you agree to it. Oh, they'll still smoke a fat turd in Hell, but that's little consolation for you now.

Oh, hey, that reminds me of another rat bastard credit card company. This one pulled my pants down and gave me a sound buggering. Not even a reach-around, either. I got a solicitation from Discover Card. You know, the other credit card that nearly nobody accepts. Well, their offer seemed to be a good deal for what I needed it for. I wanted to transfer a balance from a VISA card to Discover and take advantage of their 0% finance charge for 6 months deal. So I filled out the application and gave them my VISA card number and the balance and then I sat around and checked my belly-button for lint. OK, not really - I've gotten so fat that my belly button is completely flat now. Weird. Anyway...

So, I get the card. They gave me a $3,000 line of credit and transferred exactly that much of the VISA card I wanted to clear out - not great, since I owed $4,000 on that card, but OK, so that's what it is. At least I get six months of 0% on $3,000 (which I can pay off in that time) and then I cancel the card and all is well.

But wait. Oh, those horrible bastards! They've given me a $3,000 balance, transferred EXACTLY that amount (which maxed out the card, of course) and THEN charged me an annual fee. That put me "over the limit" and invoked a) 23.99% APR and b) end of the six-month 0% APR, through my supposed 'default'.

Oh, you clever, clever, bastards. You got me. I admit it. I went from a 8.99% VISA with a $4,000 balance to a 8.99% VISA with a $1,000 balance and a 23.99% Discover with a $3,000 balance. I'm wearing a HUGE happy hat.

So I called these jerks. No, they won't fix it. In their opinion, they did nothing wrong. They transferred the maximum amount for my assigned credit limit into my account, and then the annual fee was automatically taken out, which put me over the limit they had just established. I demanded to know how ANYONE could actually get the 0% APR for six months that they had been advertising? Well, if you want to transfer an amount LESS than the credit limit you'll be given, then the annual fee won't put you OVER the limit, will it? Uh-huh. And how often does THAT happen? No answer. Ah. In other words, whatever you try to transfer, you will be given a credit limit JUST UNDER that amount, so that you'll be pushed OVER your limit by the annual fee, which comes out immediately. No answer. I hung up.

Well, one thing for sure - as soon as Discover Card is paid off, I drop them like a hot rock. And I tell them why, in salty, vulgar, rude-ass former US Marine tongue spoken only by Jarheads everywhere. And of course, I let ever buddy in on their dirty little sekrit. Right here.

Keep Swinging,

Wiggy

Favorite Online Comics

Well, I guess I never mentioned this before - and I'm currently gathering strength for a lengthy 'bad drivers' rant - so this is a list of the comics I like to read online. I start my morning with them, and they give me a lift most times:

9 Chickweed Lane - OK, so the artist, Brooke McEldowney, is totally obsessed with the female form. But dang, he is good at it. Funny, upbeat, and very, very, well-drawn. I sometimes wonder where the stories are heading, but so far he hasn't got to ethereal on me.

Get Fuzzy - Yes, there is a smart-ass cat and a dumb dog. But Garfield this ain't. Mostly silliness, some occasional sidetrips into reality. Flirts with a left-wing point of view, but the artist lets the characters be slapped around a bit by decent right-wing characters who have some substance to them - very well done.

Pibgorn - also by Brooke McEldowney. Sometimes not updated as often as I'd like. Bold artwork - 'edgy' although I usually hate to use that word. Breaks barriers of what a comic is supposed to be - this is not typical 'Family Circus' stuff. Fantasy/Science Fiction sort of comic. Brooke has a thing for the female form - did I mention that? Good job he does it so well. The story lines sometimes wander and I begin to lose interest - long stories that take awhile to develop, and at the end of it, you wonder what the hell that was all about. Still one of the best comics going.

Day by Day - artist is Chris Muir, who recently had family issues that required him to put aside the comic for awhile. He was very missed, and now he's back. Done from a right-wing point of view (sometimes a bit more than even *I* can take) and mostly commentary on political blogs of note and newsworthy political topics. I'm beginning to notice a certain monotony - same characters in the same poses saying the same basic thing - only about today's left-wing gaffe instead of yesterday's. OK, Chris - glad you're back, but let's liven it up some, ok? Oh, and I also get some GREAT links to blogs and so forth from this comic. Very cool for that - Chris is totally plugged in to what's going on in the blogamundo.

Crankshaft - I used to read this a lot. I'm thinking of getting back into it. I'm told that the artist is taking on Alzeimer's. We'll see if it's worth reading again.

And that's about it for me and online comics. Oh sure, sometimes I check out "Rose is Rose" or "Drabble" or "Doonesbury" or "Bizarro." I like anything by Jerry Van Amerongen, of course. "Pearls Before Swine" and "Sheldon" are both pretty good, but I don't read them regularly, for some reason.

And that's about it for now. Back later with a rant.

Comic Book Kisses,

Wiggy

Call of the West

"Sometimes the only thing a western savage understands, are whiskey and rifles and an unarmed man like you."

Insane Family Members

Insane Family Members


I have family members who feel that the entire purpose of the internet and email is to send each other (and me) horrible little things like the list shown below. Apparently, one is supposed to fill this out and forward it to one's entire family, and then drive off a cliff. OK, not the last bit. But that's what I feel like when I get these. I mean, what the *#&#@? I'd tell *them* to go drive off a bridge, but they're *family*. So, I mostly just ignore them. But not today. I guess I'll be off the Christmas Lists this year.

1. What time did you get up this morning? Way too early.
2. Diamonds or pearls? With cordoroy? You *must* be joking.
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? What's a 'cinema'?
4. What is your favorite TV show(s)? Whatever Mrs. Wiggy tells me it is.
5. What did you have for breakfast? Red Baron Breakfast Pizza and a Snickers. SNORK!
6. What is your middle name? Delicatessa Windowshade Mackrelmint Eprhraim's Daughter.
7. What is your favorite food? Spaghetti-O's.
8. What foods do you dislike? Everything else, mostly.
9. What is your favorite chip flavor? Silicon.
10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? The Streets - Original Pirate Material.
11. What kind of car do you drive? 1996 Chevy Lumina POS.
12. Favorite sandwich? Bologna & Cheese with Ketchup.
13. What characteristic do you despise? All selfishness except mine.
14. Favorite item of clothing? Hers. Usually worn on my head while I go tear-assing around the house. Usually wearing also a cape to complete the effect.
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where world you go? Big Rock Candy Mountain.
16. What color is your bathroom? How the ()&* would I know that? I'm colorblind, remember? It's bloody bathroom-color, then.
17. Favorite brand of clothing? Super-Fatties, the Super Fatman's Super Fat Giant Fat Store for Huge Fat People.
18. Where would you retire to? The second star to the right, straight on 'til morning.
19. Favorite time of the day? One hour before I wake up.
20. What was your most memorable birthday? The first one. I didn't say *I* remembered it!
21. Where were you born? Cottage Hospital, Galesburg, IL. At least that's what THEY told me.
22. Favorite sport to watch? Competitive Eating Events. In Japanese.
23. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? Richard M. Nixon.
24. Person you expect to send it back first? Thunderclap Newman.
25. What fabric detergent do you use? What fabric detergent do I use for what?
26. Coke or Pepsi? Mountain Dew.
27. Are you a morning person or a night owl? Neither. I'm a twilight reptile.
28. What is your shoe size? 11 left, 12 right. I dress to the left and my hat size is 'Atomic Big Bigness'.
29. Do you have any pets? Two dogs, two cats, one giant metallic atomic mutant lobster I call "Clacky."
30. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with your family & friends? I have candy in one of my pockets. Care to find it?
31. What did you want to be when you were little? Smaller.
32. Do you have any children? Too busy being one.
33. What's your favorite holiday? None.
34. What's your favorite day of the week? Glarnsday.
35. Where do you work? In the coal mine, goin' down, down, down. Workin' in the coal mine, *whoops* about to slip down.

Oh, why do I bother?

Peace Out,

Wiggy

->Boffins to build 'hemp houses'<-

Boffins to build 'hemp houses'
18-02-2005
From: AAP
RESEARCHERS on the NSW north coast are preparing to harvest 2.5 million cannabis plants to build what's believed to be Australia's first hemp homes.

Dr Keith Bolton from Southern Cross University said the hemp crop is expected to be harvested in the next couple of weeks, before the building of two houses commences.
"We're certainly expecting them to be finished before the end of the year and we'll be commencing the building in the next couple of months," he said.

The four year commercialisation research project involves the Southern Cross University, NSW University and Byron Shire Council.

One house is to be built in the Murwillumbah area in northern NSW, with the second planned for the Gold Coast.

Dr Bolton, an environmental scientist, said the crop is being grown at a secret location in the Byron shire.

The logistics of building the single-storey homes were simple, he said.

"We will harvest the hemp, then we'll grind the stems up to the right composition and then we incorporate those stems with lime and some other ingredients and that then sets (into hemp bricks)," he said.

While the initiative is new to Australia, the concept is ancient, said Dr Bolton.

"The Egyptians used to use it to seal their tombs but the reason that it will become an important building product is that it's lightweight and it's got far superior insulation properties compared with conventional building material," he said.

"There are hundreds, if not thousands, of houses being built out of hemp in Europe."

The hemp-built house would be comparable in value with brick homes.

"There's no reason, once we achieve economies of scale, that hemp building materials will not come out at a comparable price to existing market substitutes," said Dr Bolton.

Also involved in the project is Klara Marosszeki from the building material research company Morrowby Futures, who believes the idea will prove a popular alternative in Australia.

Building with hemp is common in France where a fire retardant masonry product was used to make the bricks, she said.

"It's very durable," said Ms Marosszeki.

Favorite Bands

I can't stop thinking about a band I used to like very much, back in the day. The Fabulous Poodles. Remember them? Their breakout album was "Mirror Star" and that was the name of the track that got airplay as well. But I liked all the songs on the album. Songs from that album that stick in my punkin haid include "Work Shy," "Tit Photographer Blues," (sorry ladies) "Chicago Boxcar," (a song about a haircut) and "Cherchez la Femme." I can't find much about them on the 'net. What a shame, they were cool.



Well, that's it for now. I'm less than usually outraged over the state of the world today. The happy pills must be kicking in.

Smooches,

Wiggy

Call of the West Part II

Harshly awakened by the sound of six rounds of light-caliber rifle fire
Followed minutes later by the booming of nine rounds from a heavier rifle
But you can't close off the wilderness
He heard the snick of a rifle bolt
And found himself peering down the muzzle
Of a weapon held by a drunken liquor store owner
"There's a conflict," he said, "there's a conflict
Between land and people
The people have to go
They've come all the way out here to make mining claims
To do automobile body work
To gamble
Take pictures
To not have to do laundry
To own a mini-bike
Have their own CB radios and air conditioning
Good plumbing for sure
And to sell Time/Life books and to work in a deli
To have a little chili every morning
And maybe... maybe to own their own gas stations again
And take drugs
Have some crazy sex
But above all, above all, to have a fair shake
To get a piece of the rock and a slice of the pie
And spit out of the window of your car and not have the wind blow it back in your face"

Now, from the high timberline to the deserts dry
Who'll risk dangling on some hangman's tree
To stake their claims on these prarie plains
While they say this lunch is not had for free?
Just like the spokes of a wheel
Who'll spin 'round with the rest
They'll hear the drums and the brush of steel
And I'll hear the call of the west, call of the west

Thank you, Wall of Voodoo.  My day is made.  Again.

Wiggy

Death Penalty for Juveniles

The US Supreme Court has spoken.

Juveniles may not be put to death in the United States. The Supreme Court noted that the US stood alone among civilized nations - no others allow execution of juveniles. Years ago, when the Supremes last considered this issue, there were only a handful of such countries, and they read like a rogue's gallery - China, Iraq, North Korea, etc. Now it is just the USA.

The Supreme Court noted also that even in the USA, 30 states of the 50 reject capital punishment for juveniles. Only 20 states allow it.

The Court then noted that this marks "the evolving standards of decency that mark the progress of a maturing society." (a majority opinion quote of an earlier Justice Earl Warren statement).

I do not have a strong opinion on the execution of juveniles. I can listen to and understand arguments on either side. I guess I tend to be more of a 'law and order' sort and in general don't have a problem with the death penalty in loose terms - but I do have a problem with the inequitable way in which it is applied - so I'm also in favor of moratorium until we sort this out. Pretty wishy-washy.

However, I do have an opinion on the Supreme Court measuring the zeitgeist. That opinion is that they should not do it.

The Supreme Court has an important job. They are to interpret the meaning of the US Constition, and to interpret the intent of lawmakers with regard to laws of the United States. That is pretty much their whole job.

They are not a finger in the air. Their job is not to figure out which direction our nation is headed and and help us along that path. Their job is not to decide when the US is out of step with the rest of the world.

Frankly, I don't much care if the USA stands alone on any issue - if that's the law, then that's the law. If it was the intent of Congress or the intent of the Framers of the Constitution, then that's the way it is, my little malchicks.

There are ways to fix broken laws or laws that no longere represent the will of the people. If they are mere laws, then Congress can change them. If they are enshrined in the US Constitution via the Bill of Rights, then the various and several States can create an Amendment, pass it, and then the will of the people will have been amended.

But it is not, and has never been, the job of the US Supreme Court to make law based on what the currently-fashionable trend might be.

Oh, yes - I will get email on this - and many will wring their hands at me and sob that the death penalty is wrong and that we are barbaric for imposing it - and you know what? You don't get it. Even if I agreed with that - which I don't - my point is and remains that it is not the job of the US Supreme Court to decide that based on public opinion. But idiots don't care about that, because all they want is what they want - who cares if it rips the guts out of the US Constitution?

Lawmakers put their fingers in the air and decide which way the winds of public opinion are blowing - they respond accordingly by proposing and passing laws to that effect. The executive affirms by signing those bills into law. The courts DO NOT MAKE LAW. How hard is this?

Best,

Wiggy

Q: Are You Depressed? A: Well, I Am Now...

SCIENTISTS claim to have developed a "brain pacemaker" that can cure depression through an electronic stimulus.

The discovery raises hopes for thousands for release from depression by drilling holes into their skull and attaching electrodes to the brain which create a brighter mood.

Pacemaker 'cure' for depression

Bloody hell. Yes, drilling my skull full of holes and shoving in electrodes, then wiring me up like a freaking Christmas Tree is going to generate just tons of happiness.

Better living through chemistry? Ha! Old school! Better living through sheer raw rude application of electrical power! When I sneeze, the lights dim in Dagenham! Pull my finger and it is Three-Mile Island for some poor community or another.

Frankly, I can't wait until the hackers get their hands on this. Imagine the poor fella who has his circuitry subverted by Evil Hackers who put the controls on the 'net - maybe a web page. You login and with a mouse click, the poor sap smacks himself in the gob. You click again, and he sticks his finger straight up his nose to the second knuckle. If you can write code in Perl, there's a toolkit that will let you program him to drive to his office, shoot everyone there, make mad love to a traffic cop, dance the fandango, and then dive into the East River whilst attempting to pull his sack completely over his head.

OK, now I want one. Wire me up, DAMMIT! Do bad things to me...please?



I want to be festive - I will paint my wires a lovely shade of green, and I'll tease them into an absolute tangle - my hairdresser will go berserk! I promise to tie dead rodents to them and braid them into my dreadlocks. Well, I have no natty dreads. I'll think of something, never fear.

I've finally done it. Gone 'round the bend without signaling for the turn.

Giggles,

Wiggy

Why I Scream Myself to Sleep at Night...

Folding chairs for sale. Taken from WWF Wrestling event. Ah.

I weep. Really.

When I see things like this, I have to go here:

Kevorkian Scarf

And sometimes that makes it all better. Sometimes.

Smiling through the tears,

Wiggy

All the Terra-Cotta Pigs in the World Won't Make it Right

Sometimes you just hear things and you wish you hadn't. This morning, it was a comment one woman made to another as they passed me in the hallway:

"All the terra-cotta pigs in the world won't make it right."

You could write whole stories around that statement. You could invent a religion with that as the centerpiece.

But I think I need it as my personal motto.

ATTCPITWWMIR,

Wiggy

Why do we do it?

Two words: Vinko Bogataj.

Keep Grinnin',

Wiggy