Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?

I can just imagine that conversation...

Satan: Oh! Um, hi, Jesus. Um. Oh gee, this is awkward. Is Timmy home?

Jesus: I'm living with Timmy now, Satan. You can't come in.

Satan: Ah, right. I didn't know. Um, well, you're looking good, Jesus. What've you been up to lately? Still doing the "Son of God" thing?

Jesus: You know I am, Satan. Is there anything I can do for you? 'Cause if not, I've really got a lot of work to do with Timmy. You really tore him up, you know.

Satan: Well. Ah. Sounds like, um, you're still kinda mad at me about that crucifixion thing.

Jesus: Gee. Thanks to you, I got whistles in my hands. Yeah, you could say I'm a little put out.

Satan: Um, yeah. OK, well, I gotta be going.

Jesus: Yes, you do.

Satan: Uh, Jesus?

Jesus: What is it, Satan?

Satan: I kinda left some of my stuff here with Timmy. I don't suppose...

Jesus: I gave it to the Salvation Army, Satan.

Satan: Well, there's irony for ya. Hehehe.

Jesus: Whatever. Look, I gotta go now.

Satan: OK, well, tell Timmy I said 'Hi!'.

Jesus: Not a chance, Satan.

Satan: Well, whatever then. Bye.

SLAM!

Do not try this at home

So my wife got a job recently. Had to work late tonight. Came home exhausted and worn out. I greeted her with something interesting I had made with whipped cream and M&Ms for eyes. It took awhile to figure out how to make the M&Ms stick to my belly, too, let me tell ya. I'm very creative and somewhat, um, not well. They say I have issues.

She's all tired and here I am waggling at her.

So I says to my wife, "Hey, baby! Wanna gnarfle the garthog?"

Now I have to sleep on the couch.

Note to self - and she doesn't like the term 'throbbing bobber' very much, either.

Keep the Fire Burnin',

Wigwam Jones