Q: Are You Depressed? A: Well, I Am Now...

SCIENTISTS claim to have developed a "brain pacemaker" that can cure depression through an electronic stimulus.

The discovery raises hopes for thousands for release from depression by drilling holes into their skull and attaching electrodes to the brain which create a brighter mood.

Pacemaker 'cure' for depression

Bloody hell. Yes, drilling my skull full of holes and shoving in electrodes, then wiring me up like a freaking Christmas Tree is going to generate just tons of happiness.

Better living through chemistry? Ha! Old school! Better living through sheer raw rude application of electrical power! When I sneeze, the lights dim in Dagenham! Pull my finger and it is Three-Mile Island for some poor community or another.

Frankly, I can't wait until the hackers get their hands on this. Imagine the poor fella who has his circuitry subverted by Evil Hackers who put the controls on the 'net - maybe a web page. You login and with a mouse click, the poor sap smacks himself in the gob. You click again, and he sticks his finger straight up his nose to the second knuckle. If you can write code in Perl, there's a toolkit that will let you program him to drive to his office, shoot everyone there, make mad love to a traffic cop, dance the fandango, and then dive into the East River whilst attempting to pull his sack completely over his head.

OK, now I want one. Wire me up, DAMMIT! Do bad things to me...please?



I want to be festive - I will paint my wires a lovely shade of green, and I'll tease them into an absolute tangle - my hairdresser will go berserk! I promise to tie dead rodents to them and braid them into my dreadlocks. Well, I have no natty dreads. I'll think of something, never fear.

I've finally done it. Gone 'round the bend without signaling for the turn.

Giggles,

Wiggy