Operation LAMB

Y'know, ol' Wiggy is a member of the local Knights of Columbus, a Catholic men's fraternal group. It's not easy being Catholic in a small town in the deep South, there are a lot of churches around here, (Yahoo Yellow Pages says 142 in this town of 40,000 and I believe it) but most of them are Free Will Baptist and Holiness and various sorts of Evangelical. One Catholic church, and it is not a big one. People here are polite - but not sure what to make of Catholics. We seem alright, but they've been indoctrinated over the years not to trust us. Still, they're decent people and they generally accept us as 'fellow Christians' at least on the surface.

The local KofC has two major fund-raisers every year. One is a 'Spaghetti Dinner' held at the Catholic School here in town, and the funds from that benefit the Knights and the charities we give to. The other is going on right now - it is called 'Operation LAMB' (LAMB stands for "Least Among My Brethren") and it is done for the benefit of the mentally retarded. It consists of standing around outside stores and giving out Tootsie Rolls and soliciting funds for mentally retarded citizens of Wilson County.

Mentally retarded? Did Wiggy just commit a grevious faux pas? We don't call people with mental challenges 'retarded' anymore!

Well, I had a lot to learn. It seems that when dealing with the federal government, yes, we do call citizens who have mental disabilities 'retarded'. If we don't, the government won't give us any money to help them.

We give most of the money we collect to The ARC of Wilson County. They call themselves the 'Arc' (pronounced like Noah's 'Ark') but the letters used to stand for "Association of Retarded Citizens." And they still do, when they ask the federal government for money. Seems the US Government won't give money to groups who help mentally disabled people - they have to be 'retarded'. So there you go.

So, the deal is this. We put on funny aprons and give away Tootsie Rolls, and we rattle our change banks and ask people for money for retarded children. We have permission to do this at the local American Legion County Fair and a bunch of local shopping centers and stores. I'm a 'Team Captain' and it is my job to find volunteers to staff the position in front of the local Lowe's hardware store next Wednesday through Sunday.

It's hard this year. Everybody is financially drained - all the churches, all the local businesses, everybody has been giving, giving, giving, to victims of Hurrican Katrina. We're tapped out, emotionally and financially. And The ARC needs more money than ever before. They have a hot dog stand that they use to raise money themselves. They were allowed to keep it in the city of Wilson's garage with other city equipments. Guess what? Some scum stole it. City police did an investigation - an official 'shrug' of indifference to the fact that a city employee would have had to be the culprit. Nice, eh. So they need money this year, a lot of it.

I'm having trouble filling my slots. I was given a list of fellow Knights to call, and it seems a lot of them are 'out of town' that week. So sorry, wish I could help, but I'll be out of town all week, maybe next year, good luck to ya. Some just don't return my calls or emails, and in at least one case, I could hear a wife yelling at a husband in the background - "You're not doing that crap again this year!" Nice. Looks like I'll be pulling nearly all the slots myself. Should be fun.

Worse, my mother-in-law and my brother-in-law are coming to visit from NYC next weekend. So I won't be able to spend any time with them - and I actually like my mother-in-law!

I got creative and wrote up a press release about Operation LAMB and sent it in to the local newspaper. Oops, turns out that while the United Way is having their annual donation drive, all member charities have to have a 'silent period' and cannot be mentioned in the press. Well, I didn't know. Just trying to help, got everybody mad at ol' Wiggy. Argh.

Oh well, enough bitching. I joined the Knights so that I could 'give something back' and I didn't want to just write a check. So this is the price, Wigster. Get the apron and the Tootsie Rolls, and quit pissing and moaning. And hey, these people are deserving if anyone is. You can argue about giving money to most charities or donating to organizations that may not spend money in ways you agree with - but retarded people have done nothing to deserve their condition, and there is nothing they can do about it. They are truly innocent, and they deserve our help, our care, and our money. That's my take on it, anyway.

So, tonight I was asked to pull a shift at the county fair. We are allowed by the American Legion to stand just inside the entrance and solicit money for The ARC. I've never done that before, so it was very interesting - and enlightening.



Let me tell you something. Here in Wilson, North Carolina, we have a mix of people. Rich and poor, black and white, and a growing hispanic population as well. Wilson used to be a huge tobacco-growing area - in fact, it was once famous for having the largest tobacco auction in the entire world every year - there are huge abandoned warehouses here that once held tobacco. So, there were a lot of migrant workers who came through every year. Now, many of them are settling in the area, finding permanent jobs, and raising families. I'm not sure Wilson knows how to deal with it. Having lived in New Mexico for a few years, and speaking a word or two of Spanish, I get looked at like I have horns when I say "Hola." So that's fun.

I'm standing at the gate, and I'm watching people come and go from the fair. A lot of poor people, some middle class, a few obviously wealthy - not many of those. The fair is pretty basic entertainment, you know what I mean?

But I will tell you this. I got the most contributions from the people who appeared to me to be able to afford it the least. More black and hispanic than white. People who to me looked like they might be gang-bangers about to kill me came over, dug into their jeans, and pulled out a rumpled dollar to drop in my can. Hispanic citizens with torn and dirty shirts, aged beyond their years by a lifetime of hard physical labor, they nearly all donated something.






I don't know what it all means, and I'm not going to try to make anything of it. This is just an observation, folks. But I'm a conservative - and I've always believed that private charity is better than government handouts. So as a conservative, I should be seeing conservatives digging deap, yes? Here's your chance, folks. Step right up and do the right thing. Nope. A lot of head-turning and walking on by.



Oh, and while I'm on the subject...the state of North Carolina decertified the Libertarian Party of North Carolina last week. So, I'm an 'independent' now, thanks to the good Republicans and Democrats of North Carolina who get to decide who gets to play in their playpen and who doesn't. Thanks a lot, repubs and dems.



In the meantime, if anyone wants to drive to Wilson, North Carolina and stand a 2 hour shift in front of the local Lowe's, I could use the help. No? Well, that's ok. Just toss a buck in the bucket the next time you see someone standing outside a store and soliciting donations for a cause you want to support, eh? We're all volunteers, folks - trying to do the Right Thing, whatever that is.

Keep Grinnin'

Wiggy

PS - And the cold is all better now. Thanks to all who wished me well, that seems to have done the trick.