Spiderman 2 - Awful, but Required Viewing

Went to see Spiderman 2 this weekend; I guess I expected too much.  After all, the critics had given this movie both thumbs up, and I have been a Spidey fan since I was just a kid.  I'm one of the few who prolly still remember the acronym 'FOOM' (Friends of Ol' Marvel).  I have been one of the True Believers for a long time.  Stan Lee, I'm gonna give you such a pinch!  This movie is nearly as stinky as the ill-conceived 'Hulk' disaster.

Oh sure, I enjoyed the movie well enough.  Plenty of action, and Toby Maguire is a terrific actor.  I saw lots of Character Development, but I think was overdone.  For example, I saw lots of some waif-thin daughter of the Evil Russian Slumlord, Ursula Ditkovich, (played by Mageina Tovah) making googoo eyes at Peter Parker, feeding him cake and milk, but then nothing came of it.  Obviously, she is intended to be Somebody, but we don't see her again after the weird silent cake-eating scene.  I half-expected to see her show up over MaryJane's shoulder when she showed up in her wedding dress at Peter's door, but no.  Apparently, she is intended for something else in future movies.  If not, these scenes could just as well have been left on the cutting room floor.  We got the point that Peter is googoo-rific when she made eyeballs at him during the confrontation with the landlord over the rent in an earlier scene.

Getting back to the Character Development.  Lots of setup.  We get to see Robbie Robertson, and we learn he is a Spidey booster.  We meet Dr. Curt Conners, and plot twist - we find out that Mary Jane is engaged to and going to marry (remember the wedding dress) J. Jonah Jameson's astronaut son, John (played woodenly by Daniel Gillies).  John will go on to become Man-Wolf, a minor star in Marvel's universe.  Curt Conners will become Lizard Man.  But who is Ursula Ditkovich?

We also get lots of Heavy Introspection as Peter vaccilates back and forth between whether he will or won't be Spidey.  He knuckles down for awhile and gives up the web-slinging gig - there's even a nice montage of him being successful and happy, with even a nod to Mary Tyler Moore, for crying out loud.  But of course, he must return to being Spidey, and the heartbreak that job brings with it.  Here's a hint, folks.  It's not a tearjerker, it's just long and boring.  Five minutes would have been quite enough.

The computer-generated animation was awful.  Really bad.  I don't know why everyone is gushing over it - it is the worst I've seen in some time.  Most of the Doc Ock sequences are actually not too bad, but the Spidey shots are just terrible.  Unrealistic and more importantly, unbelievable.  I saw much better animation in "The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" than I did in this movie.  And that's really unforgivable.  Spiderman is a movie that had to wait until technology made it possible for comics to appear to come to life - it could never succeed otherwise.  Therefore, I must be fooled into believing that what I'm seeing is happening.  No strings, no wires.  And I was severely let down - I kept seeing the wires, so to speak.  The sparkler coming out of the tailpipe of Buck Rogers' spaceship in place of a flame.  Shame, shame.

Really, what I got out of this entire movie was that it was one giant set up for Spiderman 3.  OK, so you have to go see it to be able to follow Spiderman 3.  But don't go thinking it is All That, 'cause it ain't.

Keep Yer Stick on the Ice,

Wiggy