Informix

I'm sitting here at work, watching a test being performed against my web-based software, monitoring Informix performance, and I'm thinking...why am I not writing a book about this?  It sure would be entertaining.  Perhaps there is a song in here - the "Informix Tuner's Blues."  Hmm, I could do something with that...

I've got the Informix tuner's blues,
I don't know exactly whose
buffread soul I've bruised.
But I've got some ckpwaits,
It's got me in a state,
and I think my isamtot is gonna lose.

Oh, yeah.  I can feel it now.  Nice twelve-bar blues riff here, up and down the scale.  Foot-tappin'.  I'm sitting in a high-backed wooden chair, wearin' coveralls and a straw hat that's a bit frayed around the edges.  A seegar in an ashtray nearby belches smoke and makes the eyes sting a bit.

O, I've got the Informix tuner's blues
my SHMVIRTSIZE's gonna use
all my BUFFER size,
and my users, they gonna cry
So I'll up my CLEANERS and LOCKS,
and hope to hell it rocks,
But if it don't I'll just tell some massive lie.

Well, that didn't end too well, did it?  Sometimes the blues is like that.

Take care!

Wiggy