No Blogging Now, I'm Rich

I knew that one day my ship would come in. What I didn't know was that it would arrive in the form of an email announcing the tragic death of my dear relative, Engineer K.C. Jones. He mounted to the cabin, you know. With his orders in his hand. K.C. Jones, he mounted to the cabin; and he took his farewell trip to the Promised Land. And apparently, left me a few million bucks. What a guy.

Here is the letter, which seems very official, explaining why I am now a gozillionaire:

Personal Letter to you/:Wigwam and Mrs. Wiggy Jones

FROM BARR.JOHN ADDAS
CHAMBERS & ASSOCIATES LLP.
20 RUE DE KPOTA LOME-TOGO.
TEL/FAX: +228-226-4472


Dear Mattocks,

I am Barrister John, a solicitor at law, personal attorney to Engr. K.C. Jones, a national Of your country, who used to work with Shell Development Company in Lome Togo. Here in after shall be referred to as my client. On the 10th of February 2004, my client, his wife and their only daughter were involved in a plane crash in Sharjah, United Arab Emirates.

Please check site: http://www.airdisaster.com/photos/ep-lca/8.shtml

My client and his wife and their only daughter unfortunately lost their lives. Since then I have made several enquiries to your embassy here to locate any of my clients extended relatives, this has also proved unsuccessful. After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to track his last name over the Internet, to locate any member of his family hence I contacted you.

I have contacted you to assist in repartrating the fund valued at US$14.5( Fourtheen Million Five Hundred Thousand US dollars) million left behind by my client before it gets confiscated or declared unserviceable by the Security Finance Firm where this amount was deposited. The said Security Finance Firm has issued me a notice to provide the next of kin or have his account confiscated within the next twenty one official working days.

Since I have been unsuccesfull in locating the relatives for over one year now, I seek the consent to present you as the next of kin to the deceased since you have the same last names, so that the proceeds of this account can be paid to you.Therefore, on receipt of your positive response, we shall then discuss the sharing ratio and modalities for transfer.

I have all necessary information and legal documents needed to back you up for claim. All I require from you is your honest cooperation to enable us see this transaction through. I guarantee that this will be executed under legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law.

Kindly contact me through the above email for more details.

Best Regards,

Barrister John Addas.

What a tragedy! I viewed the twisted wreckage where my long-lost relative lost his life. Strangely, I always thought that Engineer K.C. Jones worked on the railroad, perhaps with John Henry. But maybe I was wrong - times do change, you know. Here's the photo of the wreck:



Now, I believe in "repartrating the fund." In fact, I think we should repartrate all the time. And I would certainly hate to see the fund "declared unserviceable." That would be a tragedy! I think that the "modalities for transfer" must be dealt with immediately, don't you? Thank goodness I can offer my "honest cooperation" in perpetrating this modality to repartrate the fund. And protecting me from any breach in the law seems a good idea, too.

Well, I wasted no time - I can see that time is indeed, of the essence! I immediately posted a reply:

Dear Barrister John:

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of my dear relative. Thank you for taking care of his estate until you could contact me. What are the steps we need to take next?

Many Smooches,

Wigwam Jones

I am eagerly awaiting a reply from Barrister John. I am sure that he will take the best possible care of me, and I will let all my readers know when I receive my millions. I hope to be able to throw a massive party, and of course, you'll all be invited. I'm going to hire Bon Jovi to play.

Doin' the Happy Dance,

Wiggy